Goodbye Is an Ugly Four Letter Word
by Nerdyesque
Summary: Veronica loves Logan, but Logan loves someone else. Will she ever get her chance to open his eyes to what's beneath his nose?
1. Prologue

Logan's eyes snapped open the minute she left the bed, her footsteps quiet against the plush carpet of their bedroom as she made her way into the bathroom for a late night shower. He'd been on the cusp of sleep when he'd heard a faint vibration against the wood of the bedside table; if it'd been unimportant she would've stayed still beside him, but the speed in which she reacted led him to one conclusion. It was her secret lover.

It killed him, deep inside, how he wasn't enough for her anymore. If he ever was.

Logan shook his head against the negative thoughts and instantly tried to purge them. Her cheating wasn't _his_ fault, but something _she_ was responsible for. Dr. Meyer had been explicit when he first approached the subject in their weekly sessions, how he could only be responsible for _his own_ actions in their relationship. Of course, she'd also suggested he sit down and talk to his girlfriend about his suspicions, but his bravery curdled in his stomach whenever he even _thought_ about talking to her about it.

And maybe that's was the true problem between them, their lack of communication. It was an ongoing problem spanning the years since high school when they'd buried themselves in each other to avoid thinking about the other issues in their lives. It wasn't healthy to be so co-dependent on one another, yet it wasn't something that could be changed. He was nothing without her, and he used to think she thought the same, though it was becoming increasingly apparent she didn't.

He rolled over to her side of the bed, took a deep breath, and turned on her phone. Normally Logan wouldn't dream of invading her privacy, but the burning in his heart couldn't be denied any longer. He _had to know_ if his suspicions were correct.

The privacy swipe pattern was laughably easy and he clicked through the screen until he reached the most recent text message. The words scrolling across his vision were numbing and enraging at the same time, her flirty responses becoming more and more intimate until her responder had invited her to a midnight rendezvous at his apartment. She'd hidden his true identity behind a cutesy nickname so Logan had no idea what man in her life was stealing her away, and he flopped onto his back as he fought waves of nausea.

The shower squeaked off and he lay still when she crept through their darkened bedroom to the closet, lifting a few clothes from the hangers. They'd lived in the same apartment for four years now and she knew the outlay of the room so well she didn't need a light to dress. Logan opened his mouth a few times to say something and just couldn't bring himself to confront her no matter how much he knew he needed to.

The front door closing brought him from his thoughts and he immediately rolled over to his side to grab his phone. He might not be able to say anything, but he also knew he needed damning proof of her infidelity before he would be able to actually process the information. She knew about his father's numerous affairs that ultimately broke up his parents' marriage, and he couldn't believe she would be so cruel to do the same to him

The number highlighted on his screen was one he hadn't actually used in over a year, and a part of him hesitated at calling it. Logan knew once he unleashed the dogs of war, there would be no going back.

The ringing of the phone was loud in the otherwise quiet room.

* * *

**A/N: This story was inspired by Chester See's "So Goodbye (This Time Lies Won't Explain) music video. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Go for gold."

"Is that how you normally answer the phone?"

"Logan?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Considering its ass o'clock in the morning, the answer should be obvious."

"Yeah, yeah, I didn't think about the time. Uh, is there a better time to talk?"

"You have me on the phone now, so...what do you want, Logan?"

Rustling of fabric – sheets? - echoed across the line as Logan cleared his throat a few times.

"Hey, lets play a fun game. I'm gonna ask you a question, and this time you answer me. What do you want, Logan?"

"I need your help."

"Am I your only hope?"

"_Star Wars_ joke at ass o'clock in the morning? Really?"

"_You_ called me, remember? You get what you get when you interrupt my beauty sleep." A pause. "And don't make a joke about that or I _will_ hang up on you as I should've the instant you called."

Long silence. Then. "I'm surprised you answered."

"This is what I get for not checking the caller ID. The last time we saw one another, it wasn't exactly fun times at Ridgemont High for us."

It was an understatement understood by both.

"I called to apologize for what I said to you then. I, uh, wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind then."

"So I'm really not an interfering bitch with an inferiority complex who is jealous of people's happiness because I will never be able to keep a man with an attitude like mine?"

The words were scored into memory verbatim and often pondered whenever the latest date failed. Was he right?

"Uh, did I actually say that?"

"You know I have a near-eidetic memory."

"So...sorry."

"Wow, say that like you actually mean it and I'll believe you, Logan." Two deep breaths to hold onto calm. "Wait...is this about what I think its about?"

"Are you seriously going to make me say it?"

"It's like you don't even _know _me. Of course I am. Say it."

"Veronica, you were right."

Anger and pain was heavily threaded through the words, but for once it wasn't directed at her.

"I'm sorry, there was a lot of static on the line. Say it again."

"You heard me the first time."

"Man the static is worse, I can hardly hear you...what was that? Logan? Logan? Can you hear me?"

"You're so juvenile; Veronica Nicole Mars, you were right and I was wrong. Satisfied?"

"So you finally caught Lilly cheating, eh?" Okay, so she could've phrased that a little better, or, you know, been more sensitive about bringing it up.

The quality of the silence then reverberated with the past, conversations they'd had regarding Lilly's fidelity, and Logan's accusations of jealousy. Accusations that were true to a certain extent, though not for the reasons he'd listed. Trust Logan to be as expressive without talking as he was when he did.

"I'm calling because you may have been right about Lilly, but I can't be sure, so I need you to find out for me. Will you?"

Veronica closed her eyes against the press of tears and held her breath so she didn't betray her emotional response to the man on the phone. She'd hoped for a _year_ to hear him admit what was obvious to everyone else, yet the moment was bittersweet because it meant the death of something Logan held very dear. More so than their friendship apparently when she brought her suspicions of Lilly's extracurricular activities to his attention the _first _time.

"You still there, Ronnie?"

"Yeah, yeah, just thinking about what my schedule is like right now. Kinda swamped at work, you know?"

"You know money is no object; you'll get more from me than any of your other _clients_." The repugnance he felt was clear in his voice. It wasn't anything new, however, as Logan had made it clear several times he didn't like the people she dealt with while running her own private eye agency. Her usual annoyance at his high-handedness didn't materialize as it had been a very long year since his abrupt exit from her life, and she savored hearing the familiar words. She was pathetic, really, but then she always was when it came to him.

Veronica banged her head against the wall a few times before continuing on.

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Big Shot, I know. However, I do honor my obligations, so..." She winced at the unintended jab, and cursed herself for speaking without thinking.

Veronica had practiced what she would say in the event he ever deigned to speak to her again and this was _not_ how it was supposed to go. In her fantasies she was cool, calm, and suave, dressed in something chic and form-fitting, hair perfectly coiffed, laugh a little disbelieving. They ran into one another on the street, Logan looking seedier than the last time they met, while she was healthier and prettier than she'd ever been in her life, watching with cool disdain as he begged for forgiveness. Instead, she was in a stained shirt, an old pair of boy panties, and ragged socks with a hole in the toe of the left foot while he sort of apologized and was trying to throw money at her to fix his problem. True he couldn't see her, but _she _knew she wasn't looking her best, and that made all the difference.

"You done yet? This isn't embarrassing enough without having you rub my nose in it?"

She sighed through her nose and refocused her attention. Regardless of her personal feelings about Logan and Lilly, this was business, something she was sorely in need of if she wanted to pay her bills. While part of her was appalled at taking money from a friend, the practical side slapped down any ideas of altruism and demanded she sell the bigger package.

"Well, we have two package options, depending on what exactly you're hoping for me to do."

"What do you mean?"

"The standard package includes garden-variety background check -"

"Which I don't need since I know who my girlfriend is and what's in her past."

"- or the premium package which includes tailing, photos -"

"I want that one."

"Uh, I didn't even finish what I was saying. Rude!"

"Veronica."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Mr. Moneybags. When do you want me to start?"

"Uh tonight?"

"Are you insane?"

Deep sigh. "Can I text you something I found on Lilly's phone?"

"Wait, is she there now?"

"No." The answer was succinct and laden with rage. No need for detective work to figure _that _one out, though it was incredibly stupid for Lilly to leave her phone lying around. Maybe she wanted to get caught?

"Okay, just forward me the texts, and don't forget to erase it from her phone otherwise you'll be having the conversation a lot sooner than expected."

Veronica wanted to ask why he didn't just ask _Lilly_ about her infidelities, but Logan for all his brash personality was incredibly bad about personal confrontation. At least with Lilly, since he never refrained from it with Veronica. Growing up, they'd fought and made up so many times, her parents had whip-lash over when they were best friends and when they weren't. This year separation was the longest they'd been apart since they were six years old and put into different first grade classes.

"I really am sorry, Ronnie, I should've called you sooner under better circumstances. I've missed you in my life."

His deep voice rang with sincerity and Veronica believed him as much as she believed he meant what he screamed at her when she told him her suspicions about Lilly. Logan had never pulled any punches with her, and while he normally was much kinder with his observations, he also didn't lie to her. He really did think those things about her, and it hurt because it was during that fight she realized she more than loved him as a best friend. She loved him as a man and he didn't see her the same way. It was one of the reasons why she hadn't fought back or even tried to facilitate reconciliation as she normally did after one of their blow out fights.

"Yeah, okay, Logan. Send me the texts and I'll get started in the morning. Night."

Veronica clicked end to the conversation and laid back down in her bed, heart thrumming against her chest. It looked like her life was about to get very interesting.

* * *

**A/N: So I'm going with the ****_best friends in love_**** trope because its one of my favorites, especially with Logan and Veronica. Keep in mind this is an AU so there will be many differences, especially with their childhoods. Also, thank you all for reading this story!**


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